September 19, 2006

Yes, I’m still here…

Posted in FVWM, Life, the Universe and Everything, Techie stuff at 21:05 by theBlackDragon

People who have played Baldur’s Gate 2 might recognize the quote, but anyway, I’m still around and I thought I had some interesting things to tell, and a little explanation for some weird/pathetic behaviour over the past months…

I’ve bought myself three new IT related books:

• Aspect-Oriented Software development by Ivar Jacobson and Pan-Wei NG (Addison Wesley)
• Ruby Cookbook by Lucas Carlson and Leonard Richardson (O’Reilly)
• The Art of SQL by Stephane Faroult with Peter Robson (O’Reilly)

So I’ve got quite some extra reading to do 😉

It’s been some time since I last really used Ruby and I must say that the language’s documentation has improved a lot over the last few years.

While we’re on the subject of Ruby, Thomas has announced that FvwmRuby is as good as finished, I’ve been looking forward to this ever since he announced he was working on it about a year ago, now I might finally get around to coding FvwmMpd as an FVWM module, yay 🙂

On a personal level I’m still struggling with what started nearly three months ago. I still can’t really grasp what happened and I’m still struggling with it on a daily basis. It’s really hard to understand how somebody you think actually cares about you, for which you think you mean something, can just replace you when the next best guy comes along. And then I haven’t even mentioned the amount of lies, half truths and whatsnot…

For some reason I always have to think about this song by The Crüxshadows (Even Angels Fall):

Sorrow sings
her kisses in silence
and adjusts the blinds to keep the light
from mocking everything I feel
She dances slowly
a silhouette upon the curtains
but her eyes seem to cry
only empty tears
I beg for comfort with inadequate verse
it meant so much to me.... and so little to her
and I am sinking into a mountain of self pity
why can't I simply disregard all the things I feel?

"where is my angel,"
"where is my angel,"
"where is my angel, when I need him most?"
"where is my angel,"
"where is my angel,"
"where is my angel, tell me now where did he go?"

Oh well, it makes me think of a good number of other songs as well, but anyway… It makes you wonder who you can still trust if even the person you trust most on this planet treats you like … I dunno… like you’re disposable? Like you’re nothing or nobody?

Good thing I still have friends to support me and community work and projects to immerse myself in, keeps a man going through hard times. So thank you all, you know who you are!

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